Likes & Loathes

Brian Sibley generously passed me the letter ‘L’ and this is what fell out of my head (in no particular order)...

My top 10 L-Likes

1. Life...
Pretty obvious at first glance, but I particularly mean those moments when one feels truly alive, whether that be due to an adrenaline rush of fear or excitement, or just that moment when you look out of the window, see the sun and clear skies, and get the swelling of the chest, deep breath, alive feeling that makes the day skip by in an irresistibly positive way.

2. Literature...
The written word, following in the footsteps of the oral tradition, that gives us such a rich background of human history, struggle, tragedy and hope. The “wisdom hotline from the dead back to the living” as XTC once said.

3. Laughing...
Finding amusement in anything and everything. Sharing a joke or an entire evening of mirth with mates. How great is that?

4. Learning...
The ability to find out about new things that lead you on to other new things that fascinate and captivate.

5. Led Zeppelin...
You know when people say that such-and-such are “arguably” the best rock band in the world? Stop arguing, it’s over. Zeppelin won. Ages ago.

6. Language...
Especially the regular new infusions from outside that are so vital to the survival and improvement of a language. Not to mention things like Engrish, Spanglish, Franglais and all the other comedic bastard offspring of any given couple of tongues (espeially if you can combine it with two countries that don’t get on!).

7. Love...
Which is for poets, apparently.

8. Listening...
Which I rarely indulge in as often as I probably should...

9. Lava lamps...
Are still one of those inventions that prove humanity is just ace.

10. Luthiers..
The people that design and produce custom guitars of exquisite beauty and craftsmanship (John Deacon, Hugh Manson and so forth) as well as the master artisans in the Fender and Gibson Custom shops - love you guys!

My Top 10 L-Loathes

1. Lies...
Whether it’s the “I’ll be there in ten minutes” type, or the full-blown “Of course Saddam’s got WMDs, let’s start a war” example. Hate them. And find it even worse when I resort to them. ☹

2. Laziness...
Procrastination, sitting about on your arse not doing the cleaning or just not bloody caring about anything.

3. Laminectomy...
I’ve had one of these, and they’re really not fun.

4. Lowest common denominator...
Attempts to appeal to a mass-market by removing talent, taste, ability, passion and intellectual challenge. Most game shows, reality shows and a lot of recent drama. Harry Potter also. The scriptwriters of the film Doom (and I was expecting so much...).

5. Loudness...
A button on a stereo system designed to turn a perfectly well-mixed tune into an abortion of too much bass, muddy lower-mids and tinny, screechy top end. Horrible, horrible, horrible...

6. Lottery...
An exercise designed to part the poorest sections of society from their money that works far too well for my liking.

7. Local colour...
This is about reporters descending on a hitherto un-newsworthy region which, sensing its only chance to make a mark on the world stage, rolls out morris dancers, fig-jugglers, bat-sexers, tree-huggers, crystal-worshippers and other “assignable to the asylum” fucktards in a desperate, pitiful attempt to appear something other than committing shameful and degrading acts of self-loathing.

8. List shows...
“And now on Channel 4, the Top 100 All-time best lists of all time Musical Horror Drama Comedy One-off Christmas Special Disaster Chart Successes On Ice Celebrity Heartwarming Tragedy Chef Exposés as voted for by Premium Line Vegetables”. Oh, just fuck off and fuck off now. Even if it is for Comic Relief. You have soured the planet and soiled my TV, you bastards.

9. Littering...
Is there any need to just throw stuff on the ground and walk away? The things you see when you haven’t got your gun... grrrr...

10. Laundry...
When will it ever end?

So there you have it. A seriously rambling and incoherent list of unreasonable likes and irrational loathings. Apply for your very own letter today! ;-)

Thanks to Brian.